Why Do MAGA Conservatives Need Us So Badly?
MAGA conservatives are swarming onto Threads. Why? They already have their own platforms—X, Truth Social, Rumble, their little echo chambers of outrage. But they need liberals. They can’t exist without us.
Their entire political identity is built around pissing off the left. That’s it. No vision, no real policies, no solutions—just an endless, exhausting cycle of grievances and culture war nonsense.
They don’t have a governing philosophy. They don’t have policies. They have a never-ending list of things they hate—trans people, books, wind turbines, vaccines, M&Ms, Disney movies. Their entire movement is fueled by rage, and without a perceived enemy, they have nothing.
That’s why they keep infiltrating liberal spaces. They need us. They thrive on opposition. When they’re left alone, they have no identity.
MAGA: A Parasite, Not a Party
A real political movement wants to win so it can govern—pass laws, improve society, do something meaningful. MAGA? They don’t want to build anything. They want to destroy. It’s not about making life better. It’s about making sure we lose.
They had full control in 2016—White House, Congress, Supreme Court. What did they do? Give billionaires a tax cut and spend four years raging about Colin Kaepernick and Greta Thunberg. Even when they win, they still act like the victims because perpetual outrage is all they know.
That’s why they keep following us. They can’t create, they can’t govern, they can’t produce anything of value. All they can do is rage. Because at the end of the day, there’s no joy in MAGA. It’s all resentment, all the time.
My Own Little MAGA Parasite: Angie
I had my own personal MAGA troll on Instagram. Let’s call her Angie. Well, actually, her name is Angelica, but she goes by Angie—an ironic choice for someone so eager to talk down about immigrants (note that her parents immigrated from Guatemala) while hiding behind an anglicized name.
A self-proclaimed Christian, active in her church, even part of the prayer team. But instead of embodying love and kindness, she spends her free time being a total asshole to strangers on the internet.
Does she even read the teachings of Jesus? Or is she too busy celebrating cruelty?
Angie on Immigrants
This started when I shared a post about positive things the Mexican president was doing in her country. Angie immediately jumped in with this gem:
Angie: If they were so amazing and had great leadership, then why is everyone begging to come here and protesting to stay? 😂
Me: They think the grass is greener—financially speaking. Have established a life in the US. And don’t want to be separated from their families.
Angie: They don’t have to, they can take them back to Mexico with them.
She was so eager to talk down about immigrants that she didn’t even realize most of the people seeking asylum aren’t Mexican. Facts don’t matter when your entire worldview is built on grievance.
Jesus said, “I was a stranger and you invited me in.” Angie’s version? “Pack up and leave.”
Angie on Homelessness
A conversation that started over a viral news story about a homeless woman being burned alive quickly turned into Angie making her real stance on the issue crystal clear:
Me: Homelessness is a huge issue. We need solutions that help people get back on their feet.
Angie: I don’t care. They made bad choices. Not my problem.
Me: You really don’t care? At all?
Angie: Nope. Shouldn’t have screwed up their lives.
Me: What about the guy who was burned alive by some teenagers? Just for fun?
Angie: No sympathy for homeless.
Jesus said, “Whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me.” Angie’s version? “No sympathy.”
Angie on Trans People
Like every other MAGA, Angie couldn’t resist obsessing over trans people. She deliberately misgendered them, mocked their existence, and insisted they were part of some grand liberal conspiracy to destroy society. When pressed, she couldn’t actually explain how trans people impacted her life at all. It was just another thing to rage about.
Angie on the Global Cabal
Angie genuinely believes that the U.S. is controlled by a secret cabal of Democratic pedophiles. Yet every time a MAGA politician gets caught trafficking minors, sexually assaulting teens, or sending inappropriate messages, she’s suddenly silent.
Josh Duggar? Matt Gaetz? Countless church leaders? Excusable. But she still believes Democrats are the real predators.
Angie’s Thinly Veiled Threat
When I finally started calling her out directly, she suddenly mentioned that she and her husband would be in my city the following week. It wasn’t explicit, but the implication was there. She wanted me to feel threatened.
But the moment she realized I had actual receipts of her hypocrisy and that I was willing to share them with her pastor? She blocked me before you could even say “thoughts and prayers.”
If she’s so Christlike, why wouldn’t she want her pastor to see how she talks in private?
Because deep down, she knows she’s a fraud.
They’ll Never Leave—Because They Need Us
MAGA needs us like a parasite needs a host. They don’t want a world without liberals. They want a world where liberals suffer forever. They want us trapped in an endless culture war death match, reacting to their every tantrum, drowning in bad faith bullshit.
That’s why they spend all their time harassing people online, screaming about boycotting brands they’ll buy from again in three weeks, and crying that they’re being “canceled” when people hold them accountable.
They claim to love America, but they hate most Americans. They claim to love freedom, but they want to control what people read, wear, and say. They claim to follow Jesus, but they celebrate cruelty.
And the cruelest part? They know it. They know their lives are miserable, empty, pointless. But rather than build something better, they’d rather watch everything burn—as long as we burn first.
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