America's Trade War: Losing Friends and Pissing Off China

We’re Not Just Losing Trade Deals. We’re Losing the Plot.

What do you get when you slap tariffs on your allies, start a pissing contest with your biggest trading partner, and treat global diplomacy like a WWE promo? You get America’s trade policy in 2025.

We’ve gone from global leader to geopolitical toddler.

We torched relations with Canada, Mexico, and the EU—the very countries that stood by us in war, commerce, and diplomacy. We spat in their faces over aluminum and avocado tariffs while chanting “America First” like it’s 1939.

Meanwhile, China and Russia are laughing their asses off. Why wouldn’t they? We’ve handed them the global stage on a silver platter. No invasion, no sabotage needed. Just let America elect a self-sabotaging circus act and let him do the job better than Putin ever could’ve imagined.

Even the Kremlin couldn’t have written a better script: destroy NATO trust, isolate the U.S., start trade wars with allies, and hand Asia the economic reins. And the cherry on top? A self-imposed abdication of global leadership.

Allies? What Allies?

Trump’s second term kicked off with tariffs on damn near everyone. Canada and Mexico—two countries that send us cars, oil, and avocados—got slapped with a 25% tax on most goods. China? A 20% blanket tariff. All justified under the magical umbrella of “national security.”

Because nothing says “secure the homeland” like a tax on Canadian lumber and German car parts.

These aren’t rogue states. These are countries we share intelligence with. Countries we fought wars with, not against. Now they’re staring at us like we just took a dump in the punch bowl at the G7.

Tariffs Are Taxes. Period.

Let’s cut through the bullshit. Tariffs aren’t paid by China. Or Mexico. Or Canada. They’re paid by us—American consumers and businesses.

The typical U.S. household is now coughing up over $1,200 a year thanks to these protectionist fantasies [1]. Meanwhile, inflation gets a steroid injection, and supply chains keep disintegrating.

It’s like lighting your own house on fire because you’re mad at the neighbors.

China: Not Our Friend, But Still Our Partner

Enter China. Yes, it’s authoritarian. Yes, it steals IP. Yes, it plays dirty. But you know what else it does?

Trade. A lot.

We imported $439 billion in goods from China last year [2]. That’s after four years of tariffs. Turns out, American companies still need Chinese factories. And American consumers still want cheap phones, TVs, and Christmas crap.

And China? It’s not waiting around. It’s building ports in Africa, trains across Asia, and 6G networks in Europe. While we’re busy jacking up soy prices, they’re locking down the global future.

As Jimmy Carter put it: “China hasn’t wasted a penny on war… that’s why it surpasses us in almost every area.” The was 100 years old and still made more sense than every trade advisor in Washington [3].

We Gave Up the Empire—Without a Fight

America didn’t just step back from global leadership. We tripped over our own shoelaces and faceplanted off the world stage.

We’ve been the default global leader since World War II—sometimes good, sometimes imperialist, rarely altruistic. But we still held the center. Now? We’ve ceded that center to China and Russia.

And no, they’re not “better” global leaders. They’re worse. They’re authoritarian, brutal, and opportunistic. But now they look stable compared to us.

The EU is already drifting. Latin America is leaning into China. Africa? They’re following whoever builds railroads. And we’re too busy slapping tariffs on French wine to notice the shift.

We’ve repeated Kremlin talking points about Ukraine, cast doubt on NATO, and treated Volodymyr Zelenskyy like a nuisance. Meanwhile, Russia bombs civilians with Iranian drones and invades a sovereign nation. And what do we do? Shrug. Or worse—parrot Russian propaganda on Tucker Carlson’s Twitter livestream.

Meanwhile, BRICS expands. The petrodollar fades. The Global South? Cozying up to Beijing. They’re not picking sides—they’re picking winners.

Kremlin Assets in Plain Sight

If there was any doubt that Trump, Elon Musk, and Tulsi Gabbard were doing Putin’s bidding, it’s gone now. We’ve got a former president calling NATO obsolete, a billionaire throttling Ukrainian internet access [4], and a pundit-turned-politician echoing Moscow’s PR lines about Ukraine.

At this point, the evidence isn’t subtle—it’s screaming. We didn’t just let the fox in the henhouse. We gave it a seat at the table, handed it a mic, and let it write our foreign policy.

The Kremlin’s greatest fantasies are coming true—and we’re doing it to ourselves.

What’s the Endgame Here?

If this was about fixing the trade deficit, it failed. Our deficit with China? Still massive. Nearly $30 billion in January alone [2]. If this was about reshoring manufacturing? It didn’t happen. If this was about hurting China? They just pivoted to new markets.

We didn’t outsmart them. We outspent ourselves.

And now, our allies don’t trust us, our competitors don’t fear us, and our domestic economy is limping under the weight of our own damn policies.

Mic Drop

This isn’t strategy. This is economic self-harm with a red, white, and blue sticker on it.

You don’t fight a rising power by isolating yourself. You don’t lead the world by pissing off everyone in it. And you sure as hell don’t build prosperity by taxing your own citizens to own the libs—or the Chinese.

So what’s it going to be, America? Another round of flag-waving fantasy economics? Or a reality check before the rest of the world leaves us behind?

Wake up. Before we tariff ourselves into irrelevance.